Mixed Emotions

I haven't posted lately for a couple of reasons.

First, I've enrolled in an online degree program in Islamic studies through the Islamic Online University. It's a full time program, and this semester my courses are:

• Aqeedah
• Arabic
• Computers
• English
• Fiqh
• Tajweed

So far, my favorite is Fiqh, which for those who don't know is "a critical study of the history
of Islamic legislation and the evolution of its various schools of law." It's really interesting! We're only three modules in, but I've already learned so much. Tajweed is hard (basically the correct recitation of the Qur'an) as I think it assumes a basic understanding of the Arabic language, which I don't have. I'm really excited to be taking these courses and I hope to learn a lot!

The flip side to my happiness with my courses is that my best friend had a miscarriage - her second one in 6 months. She's only 29, so the odds should have been in her favor this time, but sadly they weren't.

Some people on a message board I frequent had suggested I start praying, as it couldn't hurt. I have been, and my best friend is someone I had been praying for. So when I heard the news that she had lost the baby, my reaction was to basically say "Well, that proves there's no God. How could he do that to such a wonderful, loving person? Not once, but twice?" I know that people will say that everything happens for a reason, but I can't see a reason for this. What kind of God would allow people to experience such joy and excitment, and then take that away? Then do it again 6 months later?

I know that if there is a God, then the reason we're here is to learn, and part of learning is suffering. Life on Earth can't be perfect because that's what heaven is. But hearing the pain in my friend's voice as she told me broke my heart, and I can't fathom how a loving God could do that to one of his children.

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Jesus (Matthew 27:46)